Monday, January 30, 2006

The Clown's review

Maoist, Anti-Zionist and betrayer of the people. A review of career and the face behind the makeup of Peter (Pan) McClown

Review of the life and career of a Clown based on the true life story of an Aged Sleepy Hollow actor.

Peter McClown, former disgraced Deputy Lord Clown of Clown Hall, the same McClown who sold out his Melbourne audience and supporters is now seeking to sell off Geelong's reputation and past heritage. He wants to build a commercial bridge across Yarra Street cutting off benefits to side alley traders.

Yes the same McClown that was elected to the City of Melbourne Clown Hall in 1996 on a platform of support for tradition, heritage preservation and opposition to the location of Melbourne’s Museum adjacent to the historical Royal Exhibition Buildings in the Carlton Gardens.

Within months of being nominated to the Deputy Clown role McClown soon betrayed his promoters and loyal supporters. He could not have bent over backwards fast enough to assist and please the King Ring Master, Jeffery "Gibson" Kennett, who continued to gamble and was seeking revenge for his past failed efforts to destroy Melbourne’s historic stage.

McClown would not support or advocate even the slightest change to Jeff's script. He was a devoted disciple of destruction and to everyones amazment voted against a motion (which lost by one vote) calling on the design of the Museum development to be subjected to an independent economic review and proper planning assessment. It was a reasonable, simple, request but he McClown would not support it.

Having sold-out his constituent investors, McClown, whose performance was not that good and declining faster then a sinking ship, was soon removed from his role as Deputy Clown and dumped overboard the following year (Two years short of his expected tenure).

Even though he lost the lead-understudy role and the Deputy's title he continued to play up on the fact that he once held the position and always mentions in his repertoire that he was once the Deputy and not just the fool.

His attempt to regain access to the centre ring was unsuccessful. He lost his re-election bid in 1999 and failed again, dismally, to secure the top Lord Clown position in 2000, having spent over $300,000.00 promoting his comeback tour.

McClown’s main achievement and talent, apart from selling out on the Museum issue, was how quick and skilled he was at assuming new roles. He should have been an acrobat given the way he flipped and flopped bending over as quick like he did. He was good. He could stick his head between his legs and grin widely whilst sticking out his tongue, trying to pull a funny face hoping to please the ring master.
(With all the make-up he wore you never knew if it was a smile of a frown)

He tried his hand at being an entrepreneur and stitched up a deal with American "exploiter of talent and cheap labour, the god of NIKE, and gave them a $200,000.00 subsidy, sponsored by Melbourne ratepayers, to set up a show in Bourke Street. (We didn't know that Nike made shoes for Clowns)

Rumours and facts have it he was one of the player-producer-writers behind the fooleries, lies and deceit of the junior-understudy Clown whose performance and antics brought the house down in 2000 resulting in the earlier closure of the 1999-2002 Clown Hall season.

Having failed to make it on the Melbourne stage, McClown moved to a new location, the Geelong-Corangamite region, a sea change to try to win a Federal role from the other troop of actors - the Corangamite Liberato Party. Whilst unsuccessful in 2004 he hopes to try again next time and he may succeed as the current incumbent performer is getting rather old and there is no apparent successor in the wings. McClown hopes to ride the wave of fortune as and when the tide changes.

In the meantime McClown has taken a job at the lesser known theatre at Geelong’s Clown Hall and is continuing to work on and develop his old scripts selling out Geelong’s past heritage and reputation.

My uncle, who was a long time Labor voter and resident of the Corangamite electorate said he could not support or vote for McClown in the last election. His assessment and independent review was made before I even had a chance to explain to him some of the history behind his act and the antics McClown got up to when he was on the Melbourne stage. (Not to mention his time as a student Clown at Melbourne’s law review where he would dress up as a Millionaire’s son and pretend to be Chairman Mao. He would recite his lines and make stupid statements like “religion was the opium of the masses” whilst spousing his hate for the Zionist cause.)

Thankfully some people could see beyond the makeup just how sad this Clown really can be.

“You can fool all of the people some of the time, you can fool some of the people all the time but you can not fool all of the people all the time.”

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